Dear Jillcaminotrekker,

Joni Mitchell’s song came to mind as I read your post, “Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.”  I know these words have been true for me since my husband died 6 years ago. It’s a softer feeling now not so jagged. I remember with thankfulness now who he was and how much we had together. But I also remember how lonely and lost I felt and the fog in my head.

Regrets are normal I think, and we feel what we feel, but it sounds as though there was so much good in your relationship – so much giving on both parts, time spent together, talking, doing, being. And I am struck by how he knew you and that you loved him – even if the words were not said. It is a great gift to have been known, but of course that makes the loss of it greater.

Covid has interrupted and disrupted so many lives over the past two years. Was a service of remembrance possible after he died?

I hope posting here and hearing from community members will help ease that sense of isolation.

Katherine