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Can There Be Beauty In The Midst of Pain? 
Started by eKIM
14 Oct 2020, 3:55 PM

Can There Be Beauty In The Midst of Pain?

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."  - Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross


What do you think about the above quote:

a) as it applies to you   OR:

b) as it applies to people at the end of life, 

c) as it applies to the families of people who are at the end of life,

d) as it applies to people who have experienced loss in the past, and are on their “Journey of Healing”, 

e) as it applies to people who have experienced loss and now take comfort in comforting others: 

f)  as it applies to people such as, caregivers, volunteers, people who work in palliative care and see it as a “calling” rather than a “job”? 

On the surface, it seems almost impossible to see beauty anywhere when one mired in the ugliness of grief.  Do we only see beauty (or do we only become beautiful) after much time has passed? 

I love this definition of beautiful:  “What makes someone beautiful is what’s in their hearts and how they treat others.” - anon

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Reply by TrevorL
31 Oct 2020, 4:36 PM

Thank you for sharing the thoughtful and inspiring quote EKIM - it is helpful to broaden our definition of beauty. When I think of the idea of beauty developed form pain evoked in this quote, I am reminded of the eastern art/philosophical concept of Kintsugi, which is the practice of repairing broken pottery with golden lacquer. Rather than hide the damage, the practice highlights the beautiful fault lines, seeing beauty in the uniqueness of an object that has been damaged and made vulnerable to the world.

Though it does not compensate for the damage or the loss, I appreciate the idea that through hardships, we can develop a new and unique wisdom and compassion that we may share with the world.
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Reply by eKIM
01 Nov 2020, 11:25 PM

Hi Trevor


Yes, I've heard of Kintsugi.  I love the concept of wholeness through brokenness. 


It's sort of a metaphor for the grief journey, isn’t it?  There is a certain amount of re-inventing oneself that seems to occur.


One is never the same as before, but the NewMe can be beautiful – not the same beauty, but beautiful, nonetheless. 


The beauty of the golden-filled fractures in the cup acts as a beacon. 


The beauty of the healing soul acts as a beacon.


Others are attracted by this beauty.  Once drawn in, they are never the same. 


In reaching out to others who may feel broken, we help them heal and in doing so, we ourselves heal.


Do you (or anyone else reading this) have a story that you would like to share?  Either about your own journey, or the journey of another that you have observed.


- eKim

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Reply by TrevorL
06 Nov 2020, 1:35 AM

Very elegantly put eKim. I received a chronic injury a year ago and found that I was able to connect more effectively with others who have had unexpected injuries than I ever could have before. Though it doesn't compensate for the pain, it is an undeniable benefit. I too would like to know if others have thoughts to share.
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Reply by christinarobert
19 Feb 2021, 9:30 AM

This is actually quite helpful and informative. I often thought that a person cannot have beauty at a time of pain but I found out it is quite true. I had a leg injury where I freactured my leg during an accident and I was dealing with intense pain. My friend Janice would come and visit me daily where we would either watch a movie or play board games. Having her company would take my mind of the pain and that is when I relaized that friendship is such a beauty that I had such as my friendship with Janice. 
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Reply by eKIM
19 Feb 2021, 4:27 PM

Christina, your posting brought a decades-old sweet memory of my two little girls in their 1970s fluffy child's housecoats, sitting on the floor while playing in their room.

In a way, the best of us (our child-like love and trust) comes out when we are hurting.

It reminds me of a delightful quote I remember from years ago:


“Shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you? You are at your very best when things are worst.”  – An alien visiting Earth comments on what he thinks about human beings. (from the 1984 movie Starman - Directed by John Carpenter.)

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