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Widowed, dog just died, father dying...help!

Started by Marushka

17 Nov 2021, 3:11 PM

I am reaching out to recently widowed women who have found ways to ease their grief in early days and ways to regain balance and hope.

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Reply by MargMarie

17 Nov 2021, 5:04 PM

Dear Marushka
Please accept my condolences on losing your husband and your family dog...that is twice as much loss in a short time. My husband has been gone a year, sometimes it feels like yesterday, other days it feels like a lifetime ago...my suggestions for you would be to allow yourself the freedom to grieve, as long as you want, whenever and wherever... I find it comes in waves, sometimes it knocks me off my feet, other times I can push through. I don't know if you have a belief in God, He has helped me during the long, lonely stretches. Allow your friends, family, neighbors to help you in whatever way they offer. This website is great with so many caring people who have walked and are still walking the same journey. The stabbing hurt does reduce in time, the void remains, but you will learn to live " around" your loss. Please know that I will be praying for you...
Marg

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Reply by Marushka

19 Nov 2021, 2:16 AM

Thanks Marg,I find that I can be cool and practical around my dying father as we have been so very close throughout my life. Losing him which will be rather soon, is a triple loss and I worry that the feelings will carry me away. I know control is not mine, I sm glad to hear others who have lost loved ones finding comfort here.

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Reply by MargMarie

19 Nov 2021, 9:36 AM

Dear Marushka
My heart breaks for you to hear that you will soon lose your dad as well, that is a lot of sadness in such a short time. Do you have a good friend, or family to help carry the burden? I find that talking with others who have walked the same path helps. They can encourage us to see that we will " hope" again. Personally, I try not to look to far ahead because I can get myself worked up about things , and that doesn't help me. I hope that your today is better than your yesterday....
Marg

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Reply by Marushka

19 Nov 2021, 7:58 PM

Thanks for the words of support. My sister is very close to me and she has taken on a large part of the burden of getting my mom in to see my dad in his final weeks.I could never cope with this amount of grief and depression if I did not have her and my grown kids to listen to me. I find spending time with my 2 year old grand daughter has helped me cope with the seemingly endless emotional drowning I have been going through.
Tell me about your story and we can share the good and bad times.

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Reply by MargMarie

19 Nov 2021, 11:43 PM

Dear Marushka
I am glad to hear that you are close with your sister and your children. They will provide some distraction and will help make the upcoming holidays less lonely. My story is a little different from your loss as my husband took his own life unexpectedly, and our 20 year old daughter found him, so I worry about her and how much this had affected her as they Shared a strong bond and have very much the same personalities. There was no note, when I look back , I now see signs of depression that I didn't recognize at the time, so I carry some guilt about my lack of understanding About what he was dealing with. What I do believe is that my God is sovereign, and He could have prevented this tragedy...but He didn't, so I have to believe that because God sees the big picture and knows what the future holds, I must trust that this was allowed for a reason. I do have amazing friends, so they have rallied around me and helped me through some dark nights, and I am firm believer that I will be able to come alongside someone else who will be walking this same path and will need some help. So, that is most of my story, and I will continue to pray for you and your family as you navigate these waters.
Marg

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Reply by Marushka

20 Nov 2021, 12:09 AM

Marg,I am so sorry for the loss of your husband and the sad situation your daughter has to deal with.
Suicide is terrifying to me especially when you are taken unawares that someone is suicidal. I am driving up to see my granddaughter
tomorrow. I am an artist and recently retired educator. She gives me the honest and physical love that I no longer have at home.My sister is wonderful,
Blessed with loving family and some great friends. Since Covid and retirement I am a hermit so losing my Frenchie is nowgI 8ng me a chance to travel a bit freer.
Take care!
Marushka

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Reply by MargMarie

20 Nov 2021, 3:13 PM

Hope you have a wonderful time with your grand daughter, there is nothing like " little people" love!
Please reach out anytime! I am not retired yet, but can usually respond to any messages within a day...💕

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Reply by Marushka

21 Nov 2021, 11:29 PM

Hi Marg
I had a blast with my sweet little Vada. We did art and read books, played at the park. It lifted my heart to spend time with such a happy little sweetheart.
My dad is clinging to life, he wants to die but cruelly his failing body won't let go of him just yet.
Overall I am feeling more connected and positive, thanks for taking the time to respond to me. You have really helped me with your kindness.
Stay well!
Marushka

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