Dear Booboo70,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Losing a spouse is very painful.
We lost my aunt in March. My uncle is feeling her loss greatly, as we all are. He is blessed to be surrounded by much love and support. As a family, we are all grieving, my mom and my other aunt. They were all very close. I had a very close bond with my aunt. I am grieving her loss deeply, but I recognize that my uncle's loss, is much greater than mine.
Regret or guilt, over the choices we made while our loved one was living, is very common. I would imagine that having your husband moved to the home, was probably felt to be the right decision at the time. Be kind to yourself. We all do the best we can. Guilt is something our family has also discussed. It's so important to let the guilt go, and to be kind to yourself. Be gentle.
As you have found this resource, there many resources and supports that you might find helpful. You are taking a good step forward, in coming here. It takes strength to seek help.
Grief is a process, and takes as long as it takes. Seeking help, and sharing, are baby steps, in your healing process. With love and kindness. Valerie