Hi, (sorry I realize this has become a long message!)
Welcome to the community Soulsearching. I am glad you found us. 12 has already demonstrated that this is a safe place to talk about the things that can be so crushing. You have so much on your plate right now – your brother and how he is physically and emotionally, your mom, how beyond sad this is for her and wanting to support her, and you – also a very important person in this family group.
I am wondering if planning to ‘go home’ brings your brother comfort? It sounds like maybe home was a safe, familiar place. He may be aware at some level that going home is not an option – but it helps for him to believe it is possible. Not sure if that makes sense, but I worked for many years with people and their families who were in hospice settings and this was true for some of those people who were patients. Maybe it’s hard for him to talk about with you or your mother – because it brings you such pain. That made me wonder, as 12 mentioned if there were others in your family or at the hospice who could help you figure out what your brother needs and what you need. A third party so to speak – like we on the forum are. There is another resource on the forum to perhaps take on that role - Ask A Professional
So glad you found us Soulsearching and your nickname tells me so much about you and the courage you possess – to search.
Warmly,
Katherine