Hi Korie

The part that I liked the best about your posting was, “talk to you tomorrow”.  That tells me that you find your C.V.H. experience helpful.  That’s the best compliment that you could bestow upon us.

I’m glad I put a smile on your face with that joke.  But I don’t want to “overjoy” you lol  I always thought that should be a word. 

I’ll wait for you to ask for another one, ok?

Again, let us know how your trip to town goes.

Wow, 4 kids – lucky you.  We have two daughters and the only regret we have is that we didn’t have more kids.

It's nice that your daughter moved back in with you.  Logistics can be problematic at times with everyone under the same roof.  But the love and comfort provided make it all worthwhile, for sure.

We live in an in-law suite with our younger daughter, son-in-law and 2 grandkids.  So, I know about the challenges of multi-generational cohabitation.  Love always wins, in the end.

Thanks for the “mom brag”.  Can I indulge in a “Grandpa brag”? 

We are watching (livestream on our computer) our 16-year-old grandson competing in a robotics competition. 

Last year he and his team went to the provincials and was one of the few teams to be selected to go to the World Robotics Championships in Texas.

And last weekend, this same grandson won the bronze medal when he pole vaulted 4.85 meters (a personal best) at the Canadian Track & Field Championship in Montreal.

Well, enough about me.  These postings are supposed to be about you.

However, I took a course a while ago called “Peer Support Grief & Bereavement”.  Again, they stressed that it should be 95% about the person being helped.

But they said (and I believe this to be true) that people want to know a little bit about the person that they are sharing their story with. Otherwise, an A.I. robot would do, I suppose.

I love the saying.  “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

I care.

-         Michael

ps They prefer that we use a pseudonym on this site, however – dummy here – forgot.  lol

Hi Korie

It’s so nice to hear from you.  I look forward to seeing your notification in my inbox.  You will never know how much joy I have in my heart when I am helping others. 

I like the “Until tomorrow” at the end of each of your postings.  You may find some days to be too busy or too stressful to post something.  And I don’t want to put any pressure on you to respond.  Only when you need a “listening ear”.

So perhaps you could instead sign off with “Until next time”. 

You could post 10 times a day or once a month, whatever suits your needs.  You can never impose upon people who find it an honour and privilege to serve.

Most times, people only use this service for as long as there is a need.  Then they stop posting.  It’s fine if this happens with you.  We totally understand the temporary nature of what we do.

The “How much time do I have left” is a natural question.  I say that from experience. 

I asked that question to every doctor at the beginning of my health challenge last December. 

Each doctor (and I have had 6 now) would honestly say, “I don’t know.  Every patient is different.” 

After the third time this happened, my very wise wife/soulmate said, “Michael, you have to stop asking this question.  You will never get an answer because no one knows.  All you are doing is bothering the doctors and upsetting yourself.  No person knows how long they have left.  Just try to make the best of each and every day with gratitude and hope.”  And so, that is what I have been doing.

That solution regarding your work seems to be an interesting option for you to explore.  Let me know what happens.

What area do you work in as a nurse, Korie?  What do you like most about it?

I have volunteered alongside many nurses.  I have been tended to by quite a few.  To me, nurses are sweet EarthAngels (definition): “One who puts others before themselves.”

Whatever is on your mind and you feel like sharing, do so.  I look forward to your next posting.

-         Michael

Hi Korie.

I’m so glad that I put a smile on your face. 

I owe what I know to having raised 2 children and helped raise 4 grandchildren.  Compassion is a two-sided coin.  Wiping a tear and renewing a smile. 

With that in mind, I have sent you a poem (see end of this message) that I wrote recently.  I hope it brings a smile.

It’s interesting about the “unknowns”.  One of the greatest fears of all humans is “fear of the unknown”. 

With some people and In some cases, (not all, of course) if an answer can be provided – no matter how unrealistic it is – some people will readily cling to this light of hope rather than sit in the darkness of their fears.

I’m not judging here.  It just seems to be a common “default mode” for many.  I have witnessed it in many people and I know that I have succumbed to it myself.

Wow, Korie, you are faced with so many questions.  Of course, you know that I do not have the answers.  However, I hope you find some peace in voicing them to someone who is willing to listen.

There is an interesting dynamic that unfolds as people tell their story, over and over and over. 

Oftentimes, they will have a “lightbulb” moment and their answer will appear. 

The answer doesn’t come from the person who was listening to them. 

The answer comes from deep within themselves. 

It was there all the time – stuck in the muddle and mud of overwhelming emotions. 

So keep on telling your story, Korie, as many times as you need to and don’t worry about repeating yourself.  That might be what you need to jar your answer loose.

-         Michael

Why did Lucy? (poem 1 of 2)

(with apologies to Charles M. Schulz)

Psychiatric help. Five cents.

That’s what the sign read.

But it left a lot unsaid.

It was about helping others in the end:

She wasn’t looking for a boy friend.

She was only eight,

soon she’d be nine:

And was very sure

she’d be quite divine.

And all that stuff could wait,

maybe ‘til there’s one in front of the eight.

Besides as she told Charlie Brown,

when he came around:

"I know I’m sublime,

and you look mighty fine:

But lips that touch dog lips,

shall never touch mine."

Hi Korie,

Just checking up on you to see how you are doing.  We're here for you, anytime you need us.

I am sending this to you as a reminder that in addition to us volunteers on this forum, there are plenty of other resources for you as well.

- Michael

Canadian Virtual Hospice

https://www.virtualhospice.ca/caregiving

Caregiving Month approaches!

April is Caregiving month! In anticipation, we are highlighting resources for caregivers, by caregivers.

More than 8 million family and friend caregivers in Canada are providing care in the home. Most caregivers will feel unprepared and overwhelmed at some point.

CaregiversCAN is a free, online resource to support caregivers with:

·       Strategies for difficult conversations

·       Video demonstrations of caregiving tasks

·       Guidance for recognizing and managing symptoms

·       Suggestions for accessing programs and services

·       Ways to care for yourself