Hi Korie

 I missed replying to your March 14th posting, sorry about that.

 
You said, “Thank you for virtually giving me permission to be here and to talk to you.”

To speak from your heart with a complete stranger takes courage.

 The honour is all ours.  As volunteers, we are honoured that you take us into your confidence and share your deepest thoughts and emotions.  We will only support you, not judge you.

You stated that your eldest is in a state of denial.  Oftentimes this is the only coping mechanism that works for some people.  Everybody reacts differently.

In my volunteer work, I have had to learn how to accept this fact and not try to impose my views on others.  I can share my views to give someone a different perspective but I can’t tell them what to think or feel.

Here's a good example: Sadly, you are thinking of cancelling your vacation, however, you laid out some excellent reasons why it might have to be postponed until your husband is well enough to travel.

 I cannot tell you what to do, but I can support you in your decision.

  
Keep coming back to us, Korie.  We are here for you.

-      eKim

Hi Korie

I can hear the frustration, confusion and sadness in your words – being called to the impossible…. Two places at once.

You said, “That makes no sense, but it's a feeling.” That is so normal when under duress we experience that exhausting battle between “HeadThink” and “HeartThink”.  It seems that regardless of one’s IQ, “HeartThink” always seems to dominate.

I’ve always thought of nurses and caregivers as EarthAngels (definition) “Those who put others before themselves.

You are a great wife and mother, Korie.  And a remarkable woman, an EarthAngel.  That’s not flattery.   I know what I’m talking about, I’ve been married to one for 54 ½ years.

My wife/soulmate does an amazing job at looking after me, our daughters and four grandsons.

I’m glad that the hospital is only 45 minutes away.  We live 1 hour northwest of Toronto and my hospital visits always require a bit of a drive.  But the outstanding medical care is well worth the drive, that’s for sure.

“Running out of answers” and “Running out of steam” is natural.  No one can give 24/7 of caregiving.  And as you well know, a hospital environment - with many people - can do that for your husband.

Sending you thoughts of love and peace.

-         Ekim