Hi Bizzy,
I must say that some guys have the sensitivity of a gnat. I have found in the past year that when you have lost a partner, (or that your partner is terminal) that the creatures come out of the woodwork. They know that you are vulnerable and they are ready to take full advantage of that if they possibly can. Sometimes they want to 'make you feel better' but most times they are just preying on you. This doesn't just happen in a sexual way. Before Len passed away, a guy that called him his best friend came over daily saying that he wanted to buy a house and ours was the one he wanted.You can imagine how well that went I'm sure. As soon as Len passed away this same guy started saying it to me. I finally told him that if he ever said it to me again that he wouldn't be able to walk for a very long time. He got the message but still keeps a close watch on my house waiting for a for sale sign. Another friend of Len's was doing some reno work for us and kept trying to bump the price up. Once Len passed there was many times that I wanted to fire this guy because he was pushing the costs up and working so slow. I kept him on because he was a 'friend', not that I liked his personality, and I believed he was a contractor since he planned on finishing the work around the house that Len hadn't finished. After months of shoddy workmanship and large paychecks, I fired him. He was furious of course. When I said something about being a contractor he cackled and said 'I'm no contractor, I'm a woodworker'. As he was friends with the electricians working here, once he was fired, they stopped coming around. Because of his way of blowing through the money that had been set aside for this, the work never did get finished. I could write a book on the ways that women are taken advantage of because they are widow's. I have learned so much and become very distrusting.
On the flip side of that I have also found strangers who have offered to help with things with no motives in mind, just because they are good people. These type of people are rare but they are out there.
I guess the important thing is to try to be alert to what is going on around you and understanding how many people are out there just to take advantage. Tough thing when you are already broken inside but totally necessary. Becoming a victim will only make a horrible situation even worse.
Hugs,
Tracie