Dear Vanjuju

I am so very sorry about your situation.  

I feel strongly that your concerns be made known to the top person at that hospice.  Perhaps nothing can undo the damage done to you and your mother, however, you could play an important role in making sure that it does not happen to another family.

For pete’s sake, even a “Dollar Store” appreciates feedback from consumers so that they can improve.   If the offending party at the hospice does not like your feedback, then they should look for alternate employment.

I have been a hospice volunteer for 3 years now.  A palliative care team (including the volunteers) must ALWAYS, 100% of the time, work ONLY for the interests of the resident.  All other considerations are secondary.

The PALLIATIVE CARE TEAM approach is simply that, a team approach – EVERYONE is on the same page.  At our hospice, each day, everyone, from the top of the organization to the bottom, attend a team meeting.  We all share information.  Why?  Here are a few reasons:

·       Quite often, a resident will tell something to one person (sometimes only that one person) and not tell anyone else.  This could be vital information as it was in your Mother’s situation.

·       The medical staff let everyone know the resident’s status, which may have changed greatly from our last shift that we put in.

·       The kitchen staff might be aware of what food that comes back on the resident’s tray, or special requests from the resident or family.  The medical staff need to know this.

·       The social worker is able to update everyone on recent discussions with the resident and family.

·       The receptionist might have observed some unusual family dynamics that need to be addressed.

·       A volunteer might have established a close relationship with a resident and be able to offer a unique viewpoint to the team.

·       The spiritual care person can often share a spiritual insight into the resident’s feelings during the process of dying.

So, Vanjuju, you can see the importance of the palliative care team approach and you, (sadly) have seen the results of the non-team approach.  On behalf of all hospice people, everywhere, who perform their roles conscientiously, I say to you and your family, “Sorry”.  I hope that, after a while, you will find it in your heart to forgive.

-        eKim