Discussion Forums

 
Reply by marstin
13 May 2013, 6:05 PM

Hi NiteLad,

It's good to hear from you. Does it ever stop? I'm not sure. I've been playing dodgeball for the past 10 months and things keep getting thrown at me. It's exhausting but I have found that it is also strengthening. I am sorry to hear that your poor mom is having so many health issues. Pneumonia appears to be quite common as we age and from watching what my mom went through with it time and time again, it has a wide range of symptoms. Hopefully this time they have finally been able to figure out what is wrong with your mom and treat it so that she can get back on her feet. I can imagine how frightening this all is for you. Thank goodness that you are able to be there to take care of her. I'm sure she is so proud of how much you have done and are doing for her.

Is your back improving at all? Are you taking care of yourself? I hope the answer is yes. How are your sister and nephew doing?

We are here for you

Hugs,
Tracie
Report this post      
 
Reply by NiteLad
16 May 2013, 2:58 AM

Hi Tracie,

What a whirlwind week.  Mom has been in the hospital three times since Saturday.  We keep bringing her home after 6-8 hours because there are no beds available.  She spent the whole time in the waiting chairs, not even making it to an emergency bed or cubicle.  They would take her for a test, and bring her back to the chairs.  How insane is that?!?   Our medical system is truly broken.

But at least we know what the problem is.  She has fluid around her heart and her left lung.  She seems to be a little better today, but is still pretty much bedridden.  And on heaps of medications.  As far as care giving goes, I can't imagine how Mom did it for so long with Dad.  I'm exhausted!  My sister doesn't drive on highways (panic disorder) so I have doing the bulk of the driving back and forth from the hospital.  I had my own medical appointments yesterday, so a family friend stepped in to drive Mom, so that was a relief.  My sister has been spending hours with Mom waiting at the hospital, and I have been home making sure my nephew gets fed and does his homework.  Neighbours have been checking in to see if we need anything, which makes things seem more of a community.  I know I could not be doing all this on my own.

I was also able to have dinner with my nephew the other night, just us guys (he's 16) and was able to talk with him about how he has been feeling with his Gramma sick and his Poppa dying so recently.  He is a really good kid, and understands what all is going on, but I just wanted to make sure he didn't get lost in all the current 'drama'.  We don't hide anything from him, but I know there are ceratin things he would rather talk to me about than his Mom.  He is very supportive, and comes by every day to make sure his Gramma (or his gimpy Uncle) don't need anything

My back is still causing me a lot of pain, but I FINALLY have an appointment to see the surgeon for a consultation on friday.  I am hoping after that we will have a better idea of what will come next as far as surgery or not goes.  But I think I will still be off work for quite some time.  Yesterday and today have been especially bad as the weather is stormy and changing... plus the added stress of Mom being so ill.  She seems to be better today, so I am hoping in turn that I will sleep a little better tonight.  

All the best to you...

Nite 
Report this post      
 
Reply by marstin
16 May 2013, 6:18 AM

Hi NiteLad,

Wow, you sure have had your hands full. Don't you just love our BC healthcare system. When I listen to others talk about their's in other provinces I am slightly jealous. I can remember taking my mom in for a possible heart attack years ago and they were so full in the emergency that all they could do is keep coming out and checking her vitals every once in awhile for the next 4 to 6 hours. Sad part is that she was not the only senior there with the same issues. There is something so wrong with this.

I think our parents are from sturdier stock or something because I also watched my mom care non stop for my dad and was in awe of her strength. It is good to hear that your mom is starting to rally around a bit. She was probably just so worn out that she had no way to battle or to pay attention to what was happening with her. You must admire her so much. How fortunate that others are stepping up to take some of the pressure off of you and your sister.

It sounds like your family has really grown close throughout these past few months. Your nephew probably loves having you so close by and how wise you are to recognize that all of this that has happened might be affecting him differently than it would for an adult and be seen differently from a male perspective.

It's good to hear that you are finally going to see a surgeon about your back. That nagging pain along with everything else that you have been through has got to be wearing you down. Hopefully they can figure out what to do for you and address it in the near future so that you can start to feel a bit better physically. Maybe then you can start to heal emotionally.

Hugs to you,
Tracie
Report this post      
 
Reply by Yankeegirl79
17 May 2013, 8:39 AM

Nitelad,

I have just finished reading through your thread, and I just have to say that I think you are an extremely strong person. You have gone through so much as of late. Your nephew is very lucky to have you as a role model.  
I hope the surgeon has some good news on the horizon for you!
 
Report this post      
 
Reply by NiteLad
12 Jun 2013, 2:31 AM

Hi friends,

Just a short update.  Things are going OK.  Mom has had pneumonia and pericarditis, but is getting better.  I'm fighting with my sister again, some things never change.  She is upset that I have been posting my feelings about my Dad's death on my Facebook account.  She is of the opinion that grief is a private family matter.  I don't hide my feelings, she does.  So we fight about that all the time.

But the biggest news is that I am scheduled to go in for surgery June 13 to fix my back.  I am sooo hoping that it doesn't get cancelled.  I have to have several vertebra fused, so it is pretty major surgery.  I just found out on friday that I would be going in, as there was a last minute cancellation.  So I am just a little stressed out at the moment.

Just wanted to send an update in case I am not around for a while. 

Nite 
Report this post      
 
Reply by marstin
12 Jun 2013, 3:33 AM

Hi NiteLad,

It's good to hear from you. I was wondering how you were doing. I'm glad that your mom is improving and getting back on the road to being healthy again.

As for your sister, in my experience with my brother I have found that although we were raised in the same household, we are so completely opposite in our thinking. If you think that posting on facebook helps you with the grieving process I would say go for it. At this time it is not about what your sister wants but what works best for you. My brother is the same way as your sister and is very quiet about it. Myself, I will talk to just about anyone about it because it helps me.

Great news about your surgery! That's pretty quick considering our health care system. It does sound like one heck of an operation. I hope that you heal quickly and can start feeling human again without all of that nagging pain.

Please keep us posted when you can.

Hugs,
Tracie
Report this post      
 
17 Jun 2013, 11:35 AM

Hi NiteLad,

I hope your surgery went well last week. Take care of yourself. We look forward to hearing from you when you are able.

Until then - all the best for a speedy recovery.
Take care.
Colleen 
Report this post      


Our Partners
Asked and Answered
Asked and Answered

Find out what Canadians
are asking

Ask a Professional
Ask a Professional

Our team of experts answers
your questions about
life-threatening illness and loss.

Just want to talk?
Just want to talk?

Join the Discussion
Forums

Books, Links, and More
Books, Links, and More

Recommended by our team

Programs and Services
Programs and Services

Find local, regional,
and national services