Grief – such a small word, but so powerful! It makes its own path, sometimes you can prepare for it, at anniversaries, holidays or special events. Then surprisingly it doesn’t turn up with the vengeance expected. But out of the blue, you see a butterfly or hear a piece of music and you are in a puddle of tears and feeling so alone.

Three years is not a long time in grief speak. The second year after my husband’s death was in many ways the hardest. The reality set in. He had died. My life had gone on without him – and I was without him. 

You have been a parent, cook and housekeeper; financial, emotional and physical support to those two lovely children all while living with your own grief and loss.  Added to that you have been supporting your kids through covid restrictions, school closures, limited activity and access to their friends – and yours. And as you say, you want happy and healthy kids and to be able to enjoy time with them.

I am glad you found us and I know that others will come along to support you as well.  Here are a few resources that you may find helpful. I am also checking in case I have missed anything.

Games night run out of Bob Kemp Hospice Bereavement Support program. They also have other resources for kids – helpful I think to phone and check out what is available. In the Hamilton area.

Children and Youth Grief Network - has a variety of resources 

my grief

Your wife sounds like a wonderful person, wife and mother. Are there things that she said and did that have helped you get through these last 3 years?

Katherine

Dear J

My heart aches as I read your story.  I send you a big VirtualHug.

I have lost 3 family members in the last year, but my loss is nothing compared to yours.

Your loss resonates greatly with me.  I am a husband with two grown children.  I cannot imagine losing my wife even now, never mind when my kids were young.

Sometimes all the prayers and well wishes from others (while well-meaning), simply are not enough.

We can have a whole team of friends and family cheering us on, but ultimately our grief journey is solo. 

Part of the reason for this is the “snowflake effect”.  No two of us are the same.  No two of us grieve the same.  People can empathize, but they cannot understand us entirely.  That’s the bad news.

The good news is that there are sweet souls out there that you will meet as you grieve.  They simply wish to help you find your way on your journey of healing.

I hope that we here at Virtual Hospice can be of comfort to you. 

Have you had counselling from a grief therapist?  Have you joined a grief group?  Almost everyone that I have spoken to who has lost someone has said that these are of great help.

You might want to contact Heart House Hospice in Mississauga.  They do amazing work helping the bereaved. I personally have experience with them.  I know the people there well.  They are a group of tender-hearted and caring people.

Peace and Love

- eKim