My beautiful 15 year old Daughter passed away December 30th 2019. She had DKA and died from sepsis. Causing her to have a Cerebral edema and cardiac arrest. She had Type 1 diabetes but we did not know. I have type one diabetes but we missed all the signs and some symptoms were not present.
The school called in Mid December and said she was falling asleep in class and her volleyball and basketball coaches had said she seemed weak. My wife took her to the doctor for blood work and discussed. She specifically asked to be tested for diabetes. The doctor called us on the 23 and told us everything looked good. Unknown to us he did not test her glucose. We were relieved and celebrated Christmas. On the 27th her body temp dropped and she was cold to touch she had difficulty breathing,. We took her to emergency and waited 3 hours for the doctor. During this time she slept and her body temp and breathing returned to normal. The doctor looked at her and sent her home saying she had a virus.
My oldest daughter then became sick with the flu. Both slept for two days as we thought they had the flu we thought it would run its course. My oldest daughter got up Sunday afternoon and felt better. Tianna remained on the couch. She was talking, but was still sick. My wife was going to take her back to the Doctor on Monday the 30th but she died on our couch overnight. My wife slept with her and yelled Allan she stopped breathing. Who were we to think we had one more day.

The paramedics resuscitated her and the PICU nurses and doctors tried to keep her alive until 2PM: that awful Monday but she was brain dead.
Hardest part is I have a glucose kit and should have tested her a month before, but she wouldn’t let me poke her finger to draw blood for a glucose test. All she needed was insulin. My wife and I feel so stupid and feel we let her down. Your supposed to have your kids back. Our guilt is overwhelming. She should be here with us. Couple of dumb doctors and parents in denial of her symptoms later she died. Such a waste. Thought I was living the dream and would see the pot of gold and the end of the rainbow.

My life is forever changed. I cry everyday. The first spring I can remember 

Dear Alhutch1
I have been reading and rereading your words. The words, along with the black background, paint a picture of a loving family torn apart with grief and feelings of guilt.  I am so very sorry.  Each day will be a stark reminder that Tianna is not there.

Do you, your wife and daughter have resources in your community that you have found helpful? People to talk with, sit with, be with?

I found these words on the home page of The Compassionate Friends:

"You are not alone
When your child has died, suddenlty it seems like all meaning has been drained from your life.

When you wake in the morning, it's difficult to get out of bed, much less live a 'normal' life. 


All that was right with the world now seems wrong and you're wondering whem, or if, you'll ever feel better:

We've been there ourselves and understand some of the pain you are feeling right now. We are truly glad that you have found us but profoundly saddened by the reason. We know that you are trying to find your way in a bewildering experience for which no one can truly be prepared." 
 

NYour life has indeed been forever changed with the passing of Tianna. Thank you for giving words to what happened and how you are feeling - that can be very hard to do. 

Warmly
Katherine

Dear Allan (or Alhutch1)

I’m so terribly sorry for your loss! It’s so hard to grieve for Tianna and be consumed by all the “what-ifs” at the same time. I lost my own daughter to cancer, when she was nine, and I spent a lot of time feeling very guilty about missing signs of her illness and for perhaps not protecting her enough from infection. I too, was wracked with guilt and found all sorts of ways to blame myself. These thoughts still plague me from time to time, usually in the middle of the night. But I now try harder to remember what she added to my life and to the lives of her sisters. We recently “celebrated” her would-have-been thirtieth birthday. I can’t imagine how so much time has passed without her! But we did celebrate. We shared photos of her with all of our family and friends and we each honoured her by doing an activity that she would have enjoyed. For me, that was making a drawing because she was a very talented artist. I know that you are still deep in the most terrible time of your life and the idea of celebration might seem impossible (it did for me, for a long time). But I hope that one day, the times of feeling guilty will be eased by memories of what Tianna gave to you and your family.

Sincerely,

Val