My wife passed away on augs 8 at 3 pm 2014 she battled 3 cancers and beat them

she was also fighting chrons,high blood pressure.shes been fighting these battles for

at least 8 years .her last battle came one day by pulling on my lazy boy chair to sweep

under it an hurt her arm after a few weeks she fnally gave in an was giving flash radiation

right away for the pain.A week later they took a complete body scan.Thay found spots on

her arm above 1 eye on her liver and stomach We waited for a room.they gave her 4

 treatments but had to stop because her white blood cells where almost at o and her blood

gluiton the same.The Doctors seem to have it under control but my wife new better.

she told her daughte our youngest and her best friend not to let them pump heavy pain

killers in her because she wanted to be alert until the end .so my daughter and I made that

happen.my wife was my rock she never had a  negative moment in her life she always kept

life positive for her hole famially we were married 41 years  she was the type of woman

that would hop out of a car and give 5 or 10 dollars to a miss fortunate or bring a famially

in our home if they where hungry many times she did this but at age 59 I lost her. Our whole Famially was there when she passed She was the better half of my life Im lost

and hurting every day without my rock !We did everything together. We were suppose to retire next year and enjoy our old age together .

Dear my rock,
What huge sadness for you and your family.  Doing the math it sounds like you and your wife knew each other for most of your lives.  So many memories and then to have your time together cut short - seems so unfair.

I am glad you found our community. Here you will find others who understand the loss of someone much loved, like Sadlou  who started the thread So very sad and Caitee who started the thread Struggling with my loss... 

Although everyone’s story is different, these are people who understand and who will support  you

Do your children or friends, other family members live nearby who support you? 

Katherine

Hello

Yes I have Three Daughters who live near and my Mom  as well .We are all trying to be there for each other but I think we all grieve in different ways but talking does seem to help for a while.

Hello, “Rock”

I am writing with the hope that I might offer some comfort to you.

I must say that it is impossible for me to imagine what you are going through – although “lost, with a broken heart” describes very well what my reaction would be.  Nonetheless I am reaching out to you.

We have one thing in common.  We are two men who realize that “Our Rock” was the better part of us.  I have been married to my rock for 45 years now and I have always depended on her for everything.  We have two daughters and four grandsons.

I think that I would have a very difficult time of it.  Sometimes I wonder if it is harder for men than for women – at least for men (like me) who overly-depend on our wife.

I do know however that I would “make it” and be able to “carry on”, but I also know that it would require great effort and great support from others.  It would be the hardest thing that I would ever do, however, it would be absolutely necessary and the end result would be well worth it.

Reaching out to others here at Virtual Hospice is a good thing to do. 

I am happy to see that you have family to support you.

I have volunteered at our local hospice for the last four years and I have spoken to hundreds of people who have undergone loss.  Certain common themes run through this experience.

Everyone, that I spoke with (without exception) who has joined a bereavement group told me that their journey was made much, much easier.  The best people who can understand your pain are those who are undergoing it or who have undergone it. 

The benefit is not only short term.  Oftentimes people will continue to meet after the initial eight weeks and will support each other for years to come.

Have you decided to join such a group?

Please continue to reach out to us here at Virtual Hospice anytime at all.  In the meantime I send you thoughts of peace and hope and loving-kindness.

-       eKim

Thank you for all the support and readying you have given me.we all suffer from our loses. it is great to have a chance to talk to people about the hard times.the biick walls you face and cant seem to concentrate on weither to turn left or right or stair for an hr its like doing  a 2000 piece puzzle half disapears where do you start .because that puzzel will  never be the same.did you go to bed at night and fell a tug on the bed or a shift on the other side of the bed  or see a feather at your feet or in a door way these are feelings i have my wife always would say I love my house i believe shes still here and Im proud of it and watch for it she is my rock

I thank you for your kind words and understanding from you all My wife was my rock and one of th most loving  and kindness person I have known all my life my hard time right now is seeing her face turn towards me in pain when they had to touch her where it was really tender or see her breathig shallow and hard for every breath for 2 days before she passed but another side was when she had a fever and she was burning up in the face and I ran over with 3 wet towels put one on her forhead and she said thats nice thenI put one on her left face and she said that is nicer  then on her right face aw thats the nicest she was rapped up with her little smile coming through the cold face clothes.Its not all my pain i feel for its every one hear staying in this group helps remove some of the weight in my heart my memories for Mary Ann will aiways be with me. God please release the pressure from my new friends hearts and help them through there hard times