Your Stories

A letter to Mom

I wrote this in November 2015 to my Mother when we first found out she had Lung Cancer. I had it framed and we sent a copy to the Cancer Centre in Sudbury where she had a short stay for radiation therapy.

In Loving Memory of our Mom, Lilliane Moreau née Ferguson 1954-2017.

A letter to Mom

Cancer has ravaged our family for as long as I can remember. It has taken the lives of our aunts, uncles, cousins and Grandmother. Today, Wednesday November 4th 2015 we found out it has taken refuge in our mother's lungs.

Our mother. Our mother's lungs. The very lungs which breathed life in to myself, to my sister and to my not so baby brother. My mother who carried us in her womb, raised us as best she could, scolded us when we were naughty, played with us, mended our cuts and scrapes and bruises, nursed us when we were ill, taught us to read books, to sing songs and to play cards. My mother who loved us. My mother who Loves us.

There is absolutely no emotion to describe the feeling, the numbness that settles in to your heart upon hearing the news that Cancer has made its way in to your home. You hear it. You repeat it without sound and in the safety of your very own thoughts you yell, curse and ask please God why?! Then when you hang up the phone after hearing the news from the very person that is now host to this dreaded monster you yell and curse and cry and ask please God why?!

Slowly you quiet, you wipe the tears from your face and the dampness from your nose. You recall the moments as a child when your mother ‎wiped your tears and calmed your fears. You can't ask her to do that now. She needs YOU. Needs you to be strong and fearless and supportive. You wonder how you can do it. How can you possibly be strong and fearless when you are absolutely rattled to your very core. There is no question. You must.

Cancer will not wait. It will not pause to give you time to question or plan. ‎ It will not wait for your tears to stop flowing, for your mind to stop yelling. Cancer has arrived and like an old cowboy movie outlaw with his guns drawn, it is not going anywhere without a fight.

You think of your father and immediately you wonder how he will cope. Your mother has been the rock and core and heart of this family since forever. She has been his rock. You worry. You worry about your sister, your brother, your niece, your children and your grandchildren. How will they cope? The answer doesn't come right away but it's there.

We’ve got this! We have each other. We will stick together for this journey. This unwanted, unwarranted formidable journey. Things have changed. Our mother needs US. She needs ALL of us. We will nurse her as best we can, carry her and support her, calm her fears, wipe the dampness from her face, and give her hope and strength. We will love her. Together we are strong, powerful and invincible.

Mom, we may not be the family that says I love you out loud but through our actions you will see we support you and we love you. It’s time for you to let us take care of you.

I speak for all of us when I say F U Cancer!!

We Love you!
Chantal, Ian,Noah and Kolton~Liane and Thalya~Bree Lilly and Eli ~Marcel